If you’re a bottle blonde, there are a few things that your brunette girlfriends will just never understand.
Going to the hairdressers is kind of like going to the dentist. We dread it because guaranteed; we’re going to be sitting in a chair smelling like peroxide for a solid three hours. No quick touch ups for us.
We have a love hate relationship with our colorist. The sass you get from your hairdresser for leaving your regrowth too long between appointments or (cringe) having to admit you attempted an at home box job is literally the worst.
Swimming pools are our archenemies. The combination of chlorine and peroxide spells disaster for any blondie, and has the unfortunate effect of turning our strands into a not so appealing lime green.
We always have to wear mascara. And brow gel, and bronzer. If we step outside without having slicked on a little makeup we basically look like a giant blob of beige.
There are lots of shades of “blonde”. And one size most definitely does not fit all. There’s honey blonde, golden blonde, ashy blonde, platinum blonde, dirty blonde, strawberry blonde and a million variations in between.
Quick showers are a myth amongst bleach blondes. Once you’ve applied your scalp treatment, rinsed, applied purple shampoo, rinsed, applied your hot oil mask, rinsed, applied your conditioner, rinsed and gotten out of the shower your already shriveling up like a prune.
Long hair is about as unattainable as Channing Tatum. Ever wonder why so many blondes have cute little choppy bobs? That isn’t a coincidence. Growing your hair longer than your collar bone is pretty much impossible, what with the excessive split ends.
Being blonde is expensive. The cost of looking this carefree is probably a lot more than you would expect. We’re talking up to triple the cost of an all over shade and double the trips to the salon per year.
Purple shampoo stains everything. That stuff is worse than red wine! Prepare your shower, your floors and potentially your hair for a permanently lavender tinge.
There is nothing better than that freshly bleached feeling. When you walk out of the salon after a marathon foils session, there is no better feeling than catching a glimpse of your totally regrowth less, brass free locks in your rear view mirror.